Blog Slacking

Yep, that'd be me!

I admit it, I've been slacking on my blog duties...but I have a good excuse!  No seriously, I do.  It's called getting the nursery together, helping organize the baby shower, and exhaustion.  I've been going no-stop for the last couple of weeks, and the result has been slacking on my blog.  There are so many things I need to catch you all up on.  My nursery furniture is all in, I had my baby shower, I'm starting on the organizing and decorating phase of the nursery, etc, etc.  I plan on getting to all of that in due time, however, I have just been worn down from all the go-go-go I've been subjecting myself to.  I have a very difficult time just stopping and chillaxing sometimes.  I plan on doing just that this weekend before I run myself completely our of steam.  I figured once I had a couple of days of complete and utter down time, then I would be back to my lively writing self.  As for right now, though, I'm totally unmotivated to do much else but ponder my slackishness.  I do apologize and promise to get all things bloggy back up and running stat!  For now you will just have to accept my apology and bear with me a few more days.

I will share with you a few pics of the new nursery furniture to tide you over until my motivation is back in gear.

The crib is the Hope crib which I ordered from Rosenberry Rooms.  It is made by Newport Cottages and is painted a unique "hope" pink color.  One great thing about this crib, besides the personalized plaque and inlaid fabric panel on the sides, is that 10% of the proceeds from the sale went to Susan G. Komen.  While I am extremely lucky to have no breast cancer history in my family, I still like that part of the purchase price went to a good cause...I won't tell you how much it cost because you'd probably die of shock!  I will say that it was worth every penny and I will be keeping it as a family heirloom.

Side panel with harlequin fabric inlay

Plaque which reads "I carry your heart in my heart"

Full view with lavender under bed drawer and my cat Loki

Piper's hat, headband, and shoe collection!

The quote on the plaque I took from E.E. Cumming's poem i carry your heart with me.  While the quote is shortened a bit, it had to be as there were only so many letters allowed.  Here is the full poem:

i carry your heart with me
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                        i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)

Okay, now on to the dresser and chest.  I will eventually dedicate and entire blog to these pieces, but for now I will just post a few pics.  The pieces were antique pieces refurbished and hand pained by a wonderful woman named Tracey.  She has an Etsy shop called TraceysFancy.  I highly recommend her, as she is an absolute genius and her design and artistic talents are impeccable.  Plus, she totally rocks to work with and way exceeded my expectation on everything!

Side of the chest with totally awesome monogram!

Dresser, notice the cool stripes!  Such an awesome touch!

Dresser front.  The added details of damask and checkered legs just blew me away!
Oh, and the awesome Alice quote!

Front of the chest with more surprise, awesome detailing!

I will definitely be providing more detailed pics when I get an entire entry written up dedicated to these two pieces.  There are quite a few surprise details she added that just made them so unique and special.  Tracey outdid herself.  Seriously, if you want custom pieces done, go check out her shop!  I promise you will not regret it!  She also is very reasonably priced, so bonus on that!

I know it wasn't much today, but it was hopefully enough to let you all know that I'm still alive and hadn't just decided to stop blogging all of a sudden.  I'll get myself back in gear and get some better material out to you very soon.  Be on the lookout for the next Nurseryland entry as I've got it almost completely finished, well I still have some pics and stuff to hang and rearranging to do, but everything is in and ready to be placed within the room.  This will be my first "free" weekend, so hopefully a lot of the rearranging will get finished.  I will do my best!

I'll leave you now with an adorable video of some twins who are having the most interesting of conversations.  Who knows what they're saying besides them, but they are definitely saying something!

As always, please come visit Piper and I on a daily basis.  In other words....

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I Can't Unsee That!

I just made a fatal third trimester error in judgement!  I suggest if you have a squeamish and/or are easily offended side, that you turn back now.  DO NOT READ FURTHER!  I'm serious about this one. I cannot go back, for I am the one who made the error, but for all of you there is still time.  Choose wisely!

Seriously, this is the last warning!

Today whilst out shopping at the ye ole Wally World, I bought several bathroom items, one of which was a hand mirror.  I've been needing one for some time, so no biggie there.  This mirror was supposed to be for examining my hair from behind, as I hate a crooked pony tail or any other lopsided hairdo.  Call me crazy, but all those years of ballet training and putting my hair up for performances made me a bit too caring about how my hair looks.  Anyway, I digress....

Well there must have been crack up in the bowl of soup I had for dinner, as nothing else would explain my urge to examine my nether regions with said hand mirror.  I have heard stories about pregnant vaginas, and since I'm down to the two month warning bell and my doc will soon be examining mine regularly, or so I'm told, I guess I was somehow morbidly curious as to what exactly she would be a witness to while between my swollen thighs.

I have already had enough hoohah fears during this pregnancy.  I'm worried about my most likely botched grooming technique being on display in the delivery room.  I haven't been able to see my va-jay-jay, much less properly get to it for tidying up, for months now.  I do my best, but as I have mentioned in a previous entry, I'm thinking it may look like some half-shaved Chewbacaesque patch-work quilt down there.  I've been doing my best to practice grooming while unable to see the task at hand and bent into the most obscure positions just to reach down there, but I imagine that all my efforts are probably just making the situation worse.  I should probably just let it loose and go for the 1970s buckwheat locked in a headlock look, but I'm way too vain for that!

My sentiments exactly!

As a matter of fact, I blame my vanity for tonight's unforeseeable turn of events.  What the hell was I thinking looking at it like that?  What did I expect I would find?  A pretty, pretty princess puss with sparkles and glitter and spitting sunshine?  I knew better, but like a bad train wreck I just couldn't stop myself from taking a peek.  And now I'm blind!  Way to go you unkempt kooter, now you've done gone and blinded the one person who truly cared about you!  I hope you can sleep better at night knowing you have destroyed my retinas!  I'm honestly surprised the damned mirror didn't break, too!

Beaver says boo!

So what was my big horror you ask?  You sure you really want to know?  Well first off, what the fuck is going on down there?  I swear that some vagina snatcher snuck in my room and stole my real vagina and replaced it with something dug up from a dank swamp somewhere in Jersey!  I'm not kidding, that thing down there is not mine!  And I want mine back!

I used to love my hoohah with all my heart.  It was all cute and pretty and perky and lovely.  Now it's just big and droopy and swollen and dark and evil and something more akin to Gollum than to the heavenly creature it once was.

I'm sure you can figure out the reference for yourselves!

Not only is it absolutely hideous, it has also developed a few skin tags!  There, I said it.  I swore I would always be 100% honest about this whole pregnancy thing, and although it pains me to tell the truth right now, I could never allow another woman to discover that this could happen without a fair warning.  After scouring the internet and such, it turns out that skin tags are a perfectly normal occurrence during pregnancy.  They can occur a number of places, such as under the boobs, in the armpits, on the neck, and yes, even on the va-jay-jay.  Problem is, there wasn't one damn mention of this to me by other women or in any of my pregnancy books.

I think we all generally feel like this!

Yet there are a whole slew of forums with scared shitless women reaching out to find comfort in the fact that no other first time pregnant women were aware of this, either.  Is this some kind of sick inside pregnancy joke that all  first time mothers are left to discover on their own?  Had I been prepared I would be okay, BUT I WAS NOT PREPARED!  And you know what goes with being unprepared?  Debilitating shock and humiliation!  Not a good combo as they could possibly send a gal into preterm labor!

Apparently these little buggers go away once the baby is born, and if not can easily be removed, but still!  Not only do I now have to worry about my patchwork grooming and my ugly-ass swollen and disfigured koochie,

Looks about right!

I now have to suffer even more embarrassment that my doppelganger va-jay-jay has dangly lumps which are horrifying and totally out of my control.  It may be completely normal, and the docs and nurses may be totally oblivious to my embarrassment and discomfort, but how the hell am I supposed to relax and concentrate on giving birth knowing that my vagina is an unsightly mound of horrors?  It was bad enough knowing that I may poop on the delivery table during labor, but even that I can handle better than this!  I can also now understand why so many C-sections are being performed these days.  One look at that as a baby and I'd be screaming to take me out the other direction, too!

It's times like these that I'm glad to be single.  If I was married or dating, I would be one tight-legged non-giving-it-up gal right now.  No way would I ever let my significant other anywhere near that terror between my thighs!  How would I ever convince them that it wouldn't be like that forever?  I would be terrified they'd pack their bags and haul ass before I could even pull my granny panties back on.  I've heard that pregnant sex is pretty awesome, but it is obviously meant to test whether true love is up in the house because you'd have to love each other a lot to get past what's going on down there.

Yep, this would be the case if I was attached!

I know I have probably shared way too much with this one, but I just had to give a warning shout out to other women out there.  I'm sure a lot of women have never even seen what their vagina looks like, and they shouldn't start examining it while pregnant or it will completely screw them up for life.  However, for those of us who are completely and proudly aware of exactly how everything should be down there, of which I am one of those women, third trimester examination should be strictly avoided at all costs as it will be worse on us than the women who are clueless.  While they may be frightened by what they find, they lack a base for comparison.  When I think of how I used to look pre-pregnancy versus now, I just want to break down and cry.

I sort of feel like this!

On the upside, it won't remain in this grotesque stage forever.  This is just part of what we women have to go through to create life.  It's a small price to pay in the long run, I suppose.  I guess I could take my horror and turn it into bragging rights or something.  With all the swelling and nastiness, I could probably compete for the Guinness title of world's scariest camel toe, but I'll refrain and keep my horror suppressed to this single blog entry.

After all, things could be worse!

I hope I haven't lost any readers with my candidness on this one, but I could never forgive myself if I didn't throw my own comfort to the wind and share this with others out there who may be sitting in their bedrooms with a hand mirror, pregnant, and crying for their lost vaginal beauty.  Be strong my fellow mothers-to-be.  This is just but a temporary discomfort that we will all get through one way or another. Just keep concentrating on that beautiful baby you're growing inside you, and forget about the Frankensteinish swamp monster that has come to inhabit your nether regions...for this too shall pass.  At least that's how I'm coping right now as massive amounts of tequila are out of the question for the time being!

 That and a little bit of Primus!

Until my next horrific discovery, you know what to do!

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Adventures in Nurseryland Part III, The Bunny Lamp

The bunny lamp edition!

Yes, I am going to dedicated an entire entry to just one lamp. Why?  Cause I'm just a little bit on the bonkers side, I suppose.  Seriously though, it's because I am so damn proud of my own craftiness and this is the perfect platform to do a little bit of self congratulatory back patting.

I really do need this device!

This is not the first time I've mentioned the bunny lamp.  This entry, however, is going to be a bit more thorough and descriptive.  In other words, there are more pictures!  By the way, on a complete aside, I burned the hell-fire out of my left index finger with the hot glue gun during the bunny lamp decorating process.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to type with a band-aid over one of your index fingers?  Well it's not an easy task, whatsoever!  I  was going to push through the pain and the band-aid, but enormous amount of mistypes and subsequent corrections finally conquered me and I took a few days off from typing to heal.  I know, sounds like a big wussy thing to do, but I'm better now and much less frustrated with the keyboard.

Since it has taken me longer than anticipated to get this post out, I will shorten it into a mainly picture format.  So grab your carrots and let's get going!  Get it?  Carrots!  Bahahahahahaha!

First off, I'll begin with the before pics of the bunny lamp.  I randomly purchased this lamp a couple of years ago while flea market shopping.  I don't know why I had to have it, but I just did.  Thank goodness I listened to my instincts on that one.

Cute as a button just as it was!

Although the lamp was absolutely adorable as is, once I decided it was going in the nursery and going to be part of an Alice in Wonderland theme, well it just needed some embellishments...to say the least.

My initial thought was just to spiffy up the lamp shade.  And initially that is exactly what I did.  Just an FYI, all the materials I used for the bunny lamp were purchased at Hobby Lobby.  And all of them were 50% off!  Yep, I like the frugal shopping.

Corner Shot

Front shot

Detail of bottom trim

Basically, what I did was take a plain lamp shade, a glue gun, some ribbon and other such crafty goods, an enormous amount of patience, and a creative spark.  I rolled these all up into one and presto!  The bottom trim was pretty tedious as it is actually five separate layers.

These are the three embellishments I used for the bottom

The top trim was no picnic either, as I first had to glue the pink beads onto the teal ribbon before I could attach the ribbon to the lamp.  Here is a good look at the teal ribbon I used for the top trim and one of the ribbons I used for the side.

Top trim

I also used this ribbon in teal for the sides

After embellishing the lamp shade with ribbon, I then noticed the rabbit himself was looking a little dull.  At first, I decided he needed a black and white harlequin bow-tie to tie into the other B&W harlequin being used throughout the room.

Isn't that fab?

Notice how I added the red heart jewel to the bow-tie.  I thought it tied nicely into the Alice theme with the Queen of Hearts and all that jazz.  Once the bow-tie was added, I then decided his face was just not animated enough.  So I decided he needed some eyes.

Isn't that better?

I was floored by how much the eyes added to his expression.  It completely changed the way he looked.  Now he looked alive rather than just like a plain old bunny lamp.  Brilliant!

Here is one last pic of the first time I finished decorating the lamp.

It's lovely how the light shines through

I was completely satisfied with my new lamp, for a couple of weeks.  It was better than before and fit nicely with the nursery decor.  But then I went to Hobby Lobby, again, and found some more decorative items and all hell broke loose!

Next thing you know, I am once again out in the craft room fiddling with the hot glue gun.  This time I decided the shade needed some froo-froo stuff on the front and sides.  So, I began positioning various butterflies and dragonflies on all sides.  Btw, no two sides are the same, which makes it all that much better!  Once I had these pinned into place, I always pin before I glue just to make sure I'm not losing my mind, I decided to add some flowers to each corner and also one each to the top center and bottom center of the sides.  This was what I ended up with.

Pretty cute, right?

And remember, this is only one side.  Each side has different colored embellishments to add maximum variety.  If you get bored with one color scheme, then just rotate a quarter turn and voila!  Although I loved the additional flare I had just created, I then decided the the corner strips needed something too.  How about some jewels?

Notice the pinned jewels to your left 

After deciding that the jewels totally rocked, I went ahead and permanently attached them to all corner strips.  However, I liked them so much I decided to add a few here and there to the sides in between the dragonflies and butterflies.  Then I said what the hell, and added some to the tips of the dragonfly wings, and in the centers of the each butterfly and flower.  Here is how that turned out!

I love sparkles!

But still that just wasn't enough!  I then went back and added jewels as the heads of the dragonflies and on the top tips of the butterfly wings.

Squee!!!

After the last few jewels were glued in place, I was finally 100% satisfied with the lamp shade.  About time, right?  When the shade was finally finished, it was time to add the last little touch to the actual bunny.  After all, an Alice rabbit has to have a pocket-watch, correct?  I had picked up a fabulous watch, chain, and key that absolutely had to be added.  The key was just a little something extra that made since for the rabbit to carry.  Here is the final result of that addition.

The watch and key

A close-up for detail

After weeks of work and additions, I have finally finished my bunny lamp!  I'm super thrilled at how it turned out.  I hope Piper loves it as much as I do.  She certainly should never be bored whilst looking at it, as it is a feast for the eyes.  I will admit that I am thinking of adding just one more very tiny touch,though.  I think he would look great holding a red rose, don't you?  Stay tuned for one more pic, just in case!

UPDATE:  Had to add the roses!  Now isn't that better?

Now I'm finished, I promise!

I hope you all enjoyed this new arts and crafts entry.  I really would love to open an Etsy business where I could design and decorate themed lamp shades and/or lamps.  I have always had an affinity for lamps, goodness knows why, and I get such immense joy out of doing what I just did above.  Maybe someday I'll get a chance to share my crafting with a paying audience, lol!

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Toodles!