I've decided it's once again time for another product review. I know you all have been waiting with baited breath for this moment, and I so do not want you all to suffer anymore. But seriously, I figured it's about high time I brag about the co-sleeper Piper's been snoozing in since almost day one. I honestly have to say, of all the baby products I registered for or purchased myself, this is by far the best baby related item I own.
Watching nursery rhymes on my laptop from the co-sleeper!
I know a lot of people do not believe in co-sleeping with their babies, and that's all fine and dandy. We all have our own styles and parent in ways which work best for ourselves and fit best withing our own individual household situations. As a single mom who doesn't have any relationship prospects on the table, co-sleeping with Piper is not an inconvenience when it comes to needed bedroom privacy and space. For us, co-sleeping is a natural extension of our extremely close bond with one another. I find it to be a very symbiotic nighttime existence in many ways.
Co-sleeping at 11 weeks
I love having Piper right by my side at night. Since I breastfeed, co-sleeping allows me to simply pull her over to my bed whenever she needs to nurse. Wait, I need to back up a step and explain what our version of co-sleeping means.
By co-sleeping, I mean she sleeps in a co-sleeper crib which is a small type of crib which attaches directly to my bed via long straps. These straps are attached to the sleeper and run under my mattress and out the other side where they are held in place by a round disc, which keeps them in place and not sliding around or creeping back underneath the mattress. Some people use the term co-sleep to mean they are actually sharing a bed. While we do oftentimes nap together in bed, when it comes to nighttime sleeping, Piper is always in the co-sleeper crib. I feel much safer with her in her own space for the time being. I tend to be a wiggle worm in my sleep, a habit which Piper has inherited, so for both her safety and my ability to actually relax enough to sleep, I always make sure that if we're going down for a long slumber, she is separated enough from me that I won't crush her or she keep me awake by wiggling about in her sleep...which she does, a lot! Now back to where I was...
She sleeps so soundly in the sleeper
The co-sleeper is very convenient for the nursing mom. While I didn't need it that much for late night feedings, since Piper has been sleeping through the night since she was just three weeks old, I do enjoy not having to get up and out of bed for her first early morning feeding, usually at 7am. I am not a morning person, so anything to make waking up early easier is a blessing! Besides being nursing friendly, there is something so soothing about having Piper lying next to me all night. I can hear her breathe, smell her baby smells, I am alerted with ease whenever she needs something, whether it be she is restless and needs a back rub to calm back down or wakes frightened and needs to be soothed. With her being right beside me, there are never any false alarms with me jumping up and running to the nursery to check on every single movement and sound she makes. I am not as high-strung and worried about all that could go wrong now that I've been doing this mothering thing for awhile, but when she was just a newborn I was admittedly like all other first-time moms in regards to worrying. The co-sleeper helped ease those worries, which in turn provided us both with much needed extra sleep every night as we adjusted to our new lives together.
The best thing about the co-sleeper, by far and above all else mentioned, it allows me to fall asleep holding my little girl's hand every night, or sometimes I like to simply lay my hand across her back. I like that human contact between us, it's nourishing and bonds us closer than I ever expected. I have a feeling, if studied, one would find that this connection causes us to develop the same breathing patterns and heart rates. In a way, it's like we mesh into one being while sleeping. I know to some this may seem like a bizarre statement, but to me it seems so perfectly natural to have that connection with my child. I wouldn't want it any other way. I imagine when she gets older that we will maintain that connection, and she may end up snoozing with me in my actual bed sometimes. I do not plan to have her always sleeping in my room, she has a fabulous nursery and a very expensive special order crib that she will be using when she gets older. She uses it now for naps and such. But I also do not plan to one day just up and kick her out of my bedroom once she outgrows the sleeper. Some parents are probably, at this point, rolling their eyes and thinking I have created a permanent bed leech. I think not, however, as Piper has no problem sleeping away from me when she has to. If anything, I think I may have the harder time letting her sleep in her own room rather than the other way around. I think I have the attachment issues, lol.
It's nice to roll over and see this face!
Okay, enough about why I love the co-sleeper from the usefulness factor. Now let's move onto the technical aspects of the particular sleeper I am using.
I chose the Arm's Reach Clearvue Co-Sleeper in Cocoa and Fern for it's aesthetic value. While there are other co-sleepers out there which have some more useful features, such as larger storage areas or that turn into a mini play yard, I liked the color scheme on this particular model.
Here is the basic view of the co-sleeper
I also chose this model because I really like the fact it has viewable sides and a nice set of wheels. The sides fold down so that when next to your bed there isn't a wall up blocking you from immediately getting to your wee one, or you can leave them up and use the sleeper as a free-standing bassinet. This was another important feature to me. And in regards to those wheels and the free-standing mode, at one point I thought I might use it outdoors on our deck, so Piper could nap while we hung out, but since she doesn't hardly ever nap, I've never really used it in this manner...although I could have. The wheels make it very portable, so it would have been easy to maneuver into other areas, such as the outdoor deck.
Close-up of the folding side.
This model also comes with some very convenient storage features. It has mesh pockets on either side up top, and underneath there is large storage bin. I used the upper pockets to hold diapers and wipes for nighttime diaper changes. I never used the underneath storage area as it was not all the easy to get to while lying in bed. Had I needed the extra room for blankets and such, it would have been a great feature. I just really had no need for it, which is good because my jealous cat ended up peeing in it a few months after Piper's arrival and I ended up throwing it away. Yes, you can use the crib minus the under storage area, which is nice if you happen to have ornery cats or damage it in some way.
A view of the under storage.
Another plus regarding this sleeper is that it comes with a mattress and sheet. I looked at several models and some you have to purchase the mattress and/or sheets separately. The sheet is awesome in that it velcros to the underside of the mattress, which is a huge plus when you have a wiggle babe like I do. If you need, you can purchase additional sheets and/or mattress. I have only the one sheet and have never needed to purchase an additional one. Probably helps that I have an uber soft terry cloth sheet saver in mine that I can remove and wash easily. I use the savers in both Piper's regular crib and in the sleeper, I also recommend them as they are so comfy for Piper to rest her little head, much softer than the plain sheet.
Okay, now for the measurements and stuff:
The co-sleeper measures 34" x 20" x 31". It's relatively small and doesn't take up a pile of space in my room. I have a standard height bed with a pillow top mattress, and the height is perfect where my bed and the co-sleeper meet. The legs on the sleeper have extensions, so you can adjust the height if you happen to have a taller bed. The legs adjust from 24" to 30" at 2" increments. They say the sleeper should only be used for an infant up to five months old or when they start to push up on their hands and knees. Piper has been pushing up for quite some time now, and she is now only 4 1/2 months old. I have yet to have any issues with her safety of going over the edge or anything, as the sides are still high enough to keep her in. I'm hoping to get to use this sleeper for at least another month. It's going to kill me to have to move her to her nursery at night, I don't think I'm ready for such a change as of yet. And I'm not ready for her to sleep in my bed, either. I'm so going to have to come up with a plan soon!
See how well it fits with my bed!
Well, that about covers everything that I think is important about this co-sleeper. I absolutely love it and am so glad I chose this sleeping arrangement with Piper. I know for non-single parents this might not be the best idea, but if you are going to have your little one sleeping in your room for any length of time, definitely look into getting a co-sleeper regardless of which model you choose. Fair warning, though, once you get used to having your wee one at your side, you may never want to be separated again!
Who could resist waking up to this every morning?
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Yesterday I turned 39, so I decided I should reflect on this past year and share with all of you what knowledge I have gained about life. Yeah, this should get interesting!
First off, although I just turned 39, I still feel like I'm 27. Well, except for the bad knees, tweaked left ankle, bursitis ridden left shoulder, painful hip sockets, and of course the gimpy, arthritic right hand that will never be the same since the injury of '08 that was due to the meningoencephalitis that tried to kill me at the beginning of '09. Besides all that, I feel great! Seriously, that was all supposed to be a bit tongue-in-cheek, although not a bit of it is a lie. I do find getting older humourous most of the time, which I think is necessary to live a long and happy life. If you can't laugh at it all, you're going to end up old before your time and in a serious state of mental collapse...at least that is my opinion on it.
And this is why!
So, on that note, what have I learned about life this past year?
I've learned why it is young people are supposed to be the ones whipping out children. I am thoroughly convinced childbirth is really not meant for people older than 30. I think because of my age and subsequent wisdom, that I am turning out to be a much better mother than I would have any earlier in life, but the bearing of children totally kicks the body's ass! I had many old dance injuries left over from my ballet career that get a wee bit worse every year. Throw an extra unexpected 70 lbs of baby weight on top of those, push an 8 lb watermelon out the old hoo-ha, and then struggle to lose that last 30 lbs of extra weight while having to tote around not only a growing human but all the equipment necessary not to kill it, or if your glass if half full, keep it alive, well then you've got a party going on in all the achy spots and you're the guest of honor!
Oatmeal face!
Besides all the enhanced aches and pains, the 38 year old (now 39 year old) body doesn't bounce back from childbearing like a 22 year old body does. I'll be the first to admit that my tummy has not gained back it's lovely flatness, my ass is no longer as high and tight as it was before (hence the cheese portion of the title), and it was a great ass, and my arms are beginning to get that floppy thing underneath when I wave too vigorously at people. I know that most of this can be fixed with several rounds at the gym every week. However, where the hell does anyone find the time for that with a four-month-old baby who needs constant attention and has a serious boob addiction? I know of no gym that would allow me to strap her on while running the treadmill, or else I might try it. And outdoor activities for exercise? Did I mention that I live in the deep South and have an extra 30 lbs still on my ass? Do you think that is conducive to running in 100 degree heat with a relative humidity no less than 60% most days? Oh hell no! Not unless I'm being chased by zombies! Then I still might decide to say fuck it and actually become a zombie instead!
We'll be happy zombies together!
I will say that I think 10 lbs of that extra weight is all boob, yay! That is definitely a plus right now. At this point, my boobs are still rockin' and are quite the full set of twins. I've got no complaints in that department, although I hear that will only last as long as I'm still being milked like an old cow. I hope Piper is not embarrassed that I'm still trying to breastfeed her when she's 18, for I really want to keep these girls perky. No seriously, I jest! Or do I?
You'll be doing what?
Even with all the body changes and new and improved aches and pains, none of those things matters now that Piper is here. I'm very okay with all my physical changes, for every single one of them was completely worth it. Plus, I am no longer at the stage in life where I'm hitting the bars every night trying to find Mr. Right. I'm not really concerned about finding a man to share my life with right now, therefore not as hung up on my ass size for the time being. Right now I have absolutely everything I want and need, and that is a pretty amazing feeling. I might not have my skinny thighs and rock hard buttocks, but I do have an amazing daughter. I should announce here that even though my body is not the same as it was, my hoo-ha did go back to normal, yay!!! God knows if it stayed looking like it did at 8 months pregnant I might be a basket case at this point. I can forgive all other changes as long as that one wasn't permanent, which it wasn't!
Your hoo-ha looked like what?
Now to backtrack to my earlier statement about being a better mother now than I would have in my 20s. This statement is in no way meant to insult younger mothers, it is simply a reflection on my own youth. I was a bit of a party girl in my young 20s, and it would have been a disaster had I had children at that point. Being younger and single usually comes with the desire to be more social, too. I loved going out all the time even just a couple of years ago. It wasn't until after 35 that I really began becoming a homebody. Don't get me wrong, I still loved to party and get my drink on, but I much preferred people coming over to my house rather than battling the bar crowds. That might also have been because all those damn 20-somethings at the bar became annoying as shit! I mean seriously, grow up already! At some point we all get to the "kids these days" point and younger people become obnoxious twits and nothing like we were at that age, of course.
Those dumb twits!
The younger people who like the bar scene and going out a lot most likely would not, in a lot of cases, be as attentive parents or have as much patience as us older folks. While a 20-something mom may still want a social life outside her family life, an almost 40-year-old is more likely to revolve her world around her long awaited children. Once again, I'm not speaking of all people, everyone is different, I'm basically speaking to the kind of person whom I was and am now. My world is Piper right now because I waited so long to have her. I do not feel like I'm losing who I am or my life is being stripped away by the responsibility of parenthood. Instead, I love spending every waking moment with her and am happy to do nothing more than be at her beck and call. I know I still have the new mother glow, much like the new relationship glow when everything is sunshine and rainbows before the imperfections set in. I'm hoping to keep this everything-is-perfect stage going forever, although I know that's a total Utopian outlook on parenting. I'll cherish the glow for now, however, and try and remember it when times get tough and my patience as a parent gets tested.
How could anyone be impatient with this face?
With all that has happened over this last year, from going through pregnancy to giving birth to the most awesome little girl in the world, all of it has taught me the true meaning of what it means to love someone unconditionally. I've always loved my immediate family that way, but nothing holds a candle to the love a mother feels for her child. It all makes sense now, all the times my mom cried when I got hurt, or when I said hateful things to her, or when I got my heart broken. Now I understand why she had such strong reactions to those things. It's all because of that bond that occurs between mother and child, that starts in the womb and only grows stronger once that little one is in your arms. Wow, there is nothing quite like it. I mentioned before how I felt sorry for men since they could not experience what it was like to be pregnant and grow life inside them. I feel even more for them now knowing they can never experience the kind of love that happens between a mother and her child. They probably don't think twice about it because they have no idea what they are missing, just as I have no idea how it feels to be a dad and what that relationship is like, but man are they missing out! It is a love that is quite overwhelming and indescribable. I would give up an entire lifetime for just a fleeting feeling like this one if I had no other choice. It would be totally worth it, it is that amazing.
Totally amazing!
With that said, I will forever look upon relationships differently. No more will there be a me that settles for anything less than love, which should make my romantic life completely different than before. No more will I be nonchalant about who I go out with, no more will I make excuses for whom I date. If I don't feel even a smidgen of what I feel towards Piper, then no longer will I drag the inevitable crash and burn relationship along until it meets it's fiery death months or years down the road. In those oh so infamous words, ain't nobody got time for that!
I'll no longer fall without a purpose!
To wrap it all up, this last year has taught me about love and what it truly means to be in love, how to accept who I am both inside and out, and how to be ultimately happy with the life I have without feeling the need to seek out one that is meant for someone else. I've found where it is that I belong, what my purpose is on this planet, and where my strengths and weaknesses lay. I also discovered I can handle more than I thought I could, and that I don't need to be a better me to deserve love. I've earned my place in this life, and I've earned the right to be happy with who I am and who I'm going to be. I've also learned that I'm an excellent mother and Piper has made me a better, more forgiving, more joyous, more accepting, more honest, and more loving person that I ever knew I could be. I've also learned that I am more of a sap than I thought possible, hahahahaha! Geez, I'm just too dang happy these days! I fart sunshine and butterflies and unicorns and candy sprinkles, and it annoys people! But mostly this past year I have learned that life totally rocks and nothing gets better than the life I have right in front of me. I'm a damned lucky woman, that is for sure.
Love makes me even goofier than before!
And eating avocados is more fun than it should be!
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For this weeks random act of kindness, I chose to send a gift to a stranger from their baby registry at Babies R' Us. Luckily you can search registries at their site by last name, for that is how I picked the recipient. But how did I ultimately choose who to send the gift to? Well that is the fun part.
For any of you that follow me on Facebook, you are probably aware that last night I asked for you to throw out a random last name via a comment. I had earlier in the week tried picking one myself, but I felt that wasn't random enough for some reason. I went with the first last name thrown out there which was Nielsen, which was provided by Kristen Tucker. Once I had the last name, I went over to the Babies 'R' Us baby registry page and searched using that last name. Altogether, there were 0 registries with Nielsen, however there were 51 registries with Nielson that popped up. I always like the universe to play some role in the random acts, so I went with the alternate spelling for I took it as a sign.
My first task was to scroll through the list of names to see who was a good candidate, mind you not all registries are current so it was imperative to find a woman whose baby due date had yet to arrive. Another criteria I was looking to cover was that the recipient be another single mom, or at least had no spouse listed as a co-registrant. I know not having a spouse listed doesn't necessarily mean the future mom from the registry would be single like me, but it was the best indicator I could use. Well low and behold, I found not only a soon-to-be mom that seemed to be single, but also had her own name listed as the co-registrant, which I considered even more of a sign of possible singlehood. Now don't get me wrong here, I don't want anyone to think I was discriminating against couples, lol. I chose to go the single mom route solely on the fact that I was also a single mom, and single moms often have less of a support network than having someone there who is your partner in crime. Anyway, I'm sure you all get what I'm trying to say, so I won't try to hash out all my reasonings.
Once I had the possibly single mom whose due date had not yet arrived picked out, another sign flew at me fromt the universe...this mom was having a little boy whose due date was on my birthday, which is this coming Tuesday on the 27th of August! How coincidental is that? And I love the idea that my gift would possibly arrive around the same time as her little boy, how cool!
The next part in my little fun adventure was picking out the gift. The woman I chose didn't have a ton of items on her registry, but my goal was to not go overboard, just a simple gift, and one that I could purchase using the gift card I received from buying diapers at Babies 'R' Us this past week. That narrowed my max spending limit to $10 before shipping and tax. I know there's not a whole lot of baby things one can get for $10, but she had registered for a boys cap and sock set which was $9.99. Since none had been purchased yet, the item was the perfect pick!
I thought these were too cute!
As you can see, the items is adorable and a simple little gift that fit my budgetary needs. Yes, I'm trying to keep my acts of kindness on a reasonable budget. Last week was a bit on the pricier side, but I knew it would be. However, once my wheels were spinning, I couldn't make them stop! So this week I knew I had to stick to my guns, for kindness shouldn't cost a fortune, if anything at all. So far all my acts have contained a slight monetary side, but that's not the intention. I just have yet to come up with creative free ways of performing these acts. I thought about baking cookies for people, but we're no longer in the 1950s and unfortunately people get suspicious of homemade edible goods. I'm working on coming up with freebies-to-me ideas, I have 48 weeks left to do so, so surely my brain will come up with something in that time. I do have some ideas along those lines, but with balancing work and a new baby, time constraints also come into play. Right now I've been taking the easy route, but I'll make myself step up my game before it's all said and done. Man, I'm getting off track, lol, back to the point!
With my gift I also added the free gift note. I was limited to a small number of characters, so I simply let A. Nielson know that I was doing these random acts, that she had been chosen this week, and gave her my blog address in case she wanted to know more about how and why she was chosen. I hope she doesn't think it is all creepy and freak out. I really would hate anyone taking such a nice thing and being wary about it. The fact I worry about this is pretty sad. People don't trust people the way they used to, and it's a shame. If she does jump on here and read this, I'd like to say the following to her:
Although I cannot use your first name because I respect your privacy, congratulations A. Nielson on your new little boy! I'm not a creepy baby registry stalker, just a woman who is trying to pay forward a random kindness that was done for me. I also hope my new daughter, when she is old enough to read her life story through this blog mostly dedicated to her, will see these posts and it will somehow encourage her to be a better person, to decide to always be nice to people (even strangers), and to do her part to make the world a better place, even if it is something small that is on the individual level rather than on a global scale. If everyone would work on making the world a better place on the individual level, then the world would be a better place. Yes, a Utopian idea but still a nice thought that doesn't hurt to be thunk (I just love that wrong word so much!). And Ms. Nielson, I do not expect you or anyone else to turn around and pay this act forward. I'm not expecting a thanks, a mention, praise, recognition, or anything of that nature. What I hope is that it made your day a little brighter and put a smile on your face. Smiles are contagious, so if anything pass that along. I hope your little boy is the light of your life as my little girl is the light of mine. Enjoy him and your time together, and tell him you love him every day. Sincerely, Ashley.
Yes, I'm the sappy kind!
So there you all have it, random act week 4 accomplished! Now on to contemplate what I'm going to do next. It really does come as a surprise to me every week, too. By the way, if anyone has any suggestions for ideas, or has performed acts of kindness of their own, I would love to hear about them. Feel free to leave them in a comment or come visit my Facebook page and tell me all about them there. Or drop me an email at ashley@singlemodernmom.com. It really has been an enjoyable process so far. Although I will admit I go through a bit of a panic stage every week thinking I won't come up with anything new to do. I know, only week 4 and I'm already overthinking it! Got to love that personality trait of mine! On that note, I'm going to quit over thinking how to wrap this entry up and just move ahead with my usual ending about Top Baby Blogs and my social sites info. I'm holding steady at #29 on Top Baby Blogs thanks to all your votes! Don't forget you can vote every 24 hours, so if you have voted before, go vote again! I'm so excited for the day when I will break into the top 25. I know it will happen, and I'm proud that I've made it as far up as I have on the list. Help me to continue to move up by clicking the button below! Then come join me on my other sites, especially my Facebook where all the daily action occurs!
Here is a random picture of Piper, because she is my inspiration!
